Friday, 1 March 2013

Five Sentence Fiction - Empty

Lillie McFerrin's Weekly Flash Fiction Prompt - 'Empty'

Lillie McFerrin Writes 

And this is where it took me: 

He sat on the night bus and watched the last passenger disembark; now he was alone again.

He had fought the deep emptiness all day by surrounding himself by people and walking amongst the crowds at all his favourite landmarks in the city; the fountains at Trafalgar Square, Eros at Piccadilly Circus, Big Ben at Westminster - he’d even walked the length of the mall down to Buckingham Palace. But in some ways being in the company of anonymous strangers had made it worse, as he watched them in their pairs and groups, talking and laughing and enjoying each others company; he longed for that human interaction.

But now he was sitting on the bus alone, and he would go home and sit there alone too. He wondered when it would end, when the hole that her leaving had created would ever be filled again. 



11 comments :

  1. So sad, I really feel for him, and hope he finds love again!

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  2. Really sad - I think we've all known that feeling at sometime and felt that life could never be good again. Fortunately life usually has a way of surprising us.

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  3. Aw, poor sad fellow. We've all been there. I hope one of those strangers on the street smiles at him soon.

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  4. You described this reality so well, when everyone else seems to have someone to share life with but you, but I know for a fact the right one will come, I hope this man can hang in there until is one appears! Lonely is one of the saddest feelings of all.

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  5. What a poignant piece. It is such a sad feeling that in a big world, one can still feel alone. Well done.

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  6. So sad. Even in the throng of tourists, we can feel alone. beautifully written, i felt his loneliness and despair.
    PS Love the tour around the capital. x

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    1. My favourite places in London! ( ; >

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  7. It's almost like a form of self torture - you want to be with someone, but you can't quite bring yourself to interact with someone new. Mentally, he's still with his last love, but she's no longer there. Well done!

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  8. Bitter and powerful - the stark contrast of a lone man lost in a crush of companionship, which accentuates his loneliness all the more. Well done!

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  9. Thank you for all your comments. I'm glad you all liked it - or should I say 'felt it'!

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  10. A piece so many can identify with. I love it!!! And, the images created as he went about his day were spot on :)

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