Horror Bites - Fertiliser

The new Horror Bites photo prompt took a while to provoke anything. I had the opening for this, but took me a while to find out where it is going. And it leaves me with a little smirk every time I reach the end. Hope you enjoy it too.

Stu carefully measured out the dose, gloves on, not wanting it to touch his skin. He held his breath too, not risking the fumes. Enclosed in the shed the smell was cloying, especially with the sun steaming in.

Yes, it was broad daylight. He sniggered to himself. That was why this was fool proof, no one would believe he’d done it; out here in the daytime, doing nothing untoward in his garden shed, just preparing some fertiliser for the vegetable patch.

Stu stifled the urge to laugh out loud. She’d hear him and come looking. He put the dose in the watering can and gave it a good stir, then picked it up and took it out to the garden.

There she was lying out on the lounger, skin all greased up, flat on her back, huge 70’s sunglasses hiding her oversized face, soaking in the sun on spontaneous day off. He felt his nostrils flare in disgust. What on earth was he thinking marrying her? If only he’d known then what he knew now.

He went over to the vegetable patch, and set the can down ready. Then he started digging out a nice big rectangle in the centre, a good foot or two deep.

It wasn’t long before he heard her footsteps behind him, prying.

“What’s that for then?” Her squeaky voice pierced his ear.

“You’ll see in a minute.”

She looked round. “I don’t see any plants for it.”

“No, I’ve not bought them yet.”

“Bit silly to be digging the hole then, innit?”

“No, not really, the holes for the fertiliser I’m putting in.”

“What you mean like cow dung or something?”

“No, I mean human dung.”

As a frown appeared on her face, he swung the spade and cracked her across the head. She went down hard. He swung it twice more to finish the job, before dragging her into the hole. Then he grabbed the watering-can and started pouring liberally, covering his nose and mouth as flesh started to melt.

He wondered what vegetables would grow best here, once he’d dug her in.  

349 Words