I seem to be in a dark mode of writing at the moment. Again I chose to think about of the box with this one, and came up with something a bit different, and it was further added to after a conversation with a friend about an article I'd read about someone on a raw meat only diet. You can find inspiration in everything.
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Embracing Nature
Standing on top of the hill, Dan took in the breathtaking
full moon. It was larger than he’d seen before, but he couldn’t decide if that
was due to the perspective, being up high rather than looking out of the window
of his small apartment.
He leaned on the spade and breathed in the night air, listening to nocturnal wildlife in the woods around him. He felt alive and energised, the adrenaline having flushed his system at this late hour. He loved how stark the trees were against the moonlit sky, showing their bones and core majesty. Not many living things could match such a display.
Humans became indistinguishable when they were just a pile of bones. Only a honed eye could even know their gender. Did trees have genders? He wondered if they felt him dig around them. He wondered if he cut across any threads of their roots. He hoped not. They didn’t deserve to be cut down, or to suffer in any way. They gave so much to humans: food, shelter, even the air they breathed. It was scandalous how easily dismissed they were; how easily cut down and replaced. But it was the human way with every living thing on this planet. Anything that had a life force had to be controlled, and managed, and bred to suit a purpose. It made Dan sick.
Rage fuelled his return to digging. He wanted to make sure he buried them deep. Loads of people walked their dogs over the heath. They were only bones, but they were bones that could be ID’d. They were clean though; he’d stripped and boiled them.
People didn’t understand how difficult it was living how he did, seeing things the way he did. He’d learnt to keep his mouth shut and his head down. And more recently he’d found an outlet for his frustration as well as the answer to a food problem.
For years now he’d only been able to eat raw meat. His body had rejected all other food – especially when he’d tried going vegan. He hated slaughtering innocent animals. It went against everything he believed. He didn’t have the same compassion for humans though. Not on the whole. There were good people, but there were also not so good people; people that would take every last piece of you without feeling a second of guilt. He had too many of those people in his life, so it made it easier.
The first time he’d done it, he’d been wracked with guilt and paranoia. He’d cut up the meat into small pieces and stored it in the freezer as quickly as possible. He’d trained as a butcher since his raw meat diet and that served him well. He wanted to leave as little trace as possible.
The bones had been large and difficult to handle, unlike animal bones. He’d sawn and broken then down, but it was hard to find a container large enough to boil them in altogether. He’d had to do several pot loads. It had made him twitchy, worried that someone would come round and find him in the middle of it.
But by the third time it had become automatic. He’d also made sure it was always late night; less chance of interruption. Plus he realised that most of his friends and neighbours knew that he slaughtered and prepared his own animals, so blood, bones and pieces of meat in his apartment was no big deal. He relaxed. He still had to think about alibis, who he’d pick and plan it, but generally it became easier and he felt he was servicing others too by getting rid of these people.
He sometimes wished he could get access to an incinerator to burn the bones, but knew that was too risky. It wasn’t that simple either, he knew they’d need to be crushed after being burnt. The entire process took too long and was too suspicious on a regular basis, so burying was the only option. He’d grown creative with his locations. He tended to save up the bones and then drive to somewhere new. It made the chance of discovery and association to him less likely.
Dan enjoyed travelling to new areas of the country and exploring the countryside. There were some stunning places, and stunning views, like tonight, with the land soaked in moonlight and the silhouetted tree. On nights like this he wished he could bottle it and sell it.
He leaned on the spade and breathed in the night air, listening to nocturnal wildlife in the woods around him. He felt alive and energised, the adrenaline having flushed his system at this late hour. He loved how stark the trees were against the moonlit sky, showing their bones and core majesty. Not many living things could match such a display.
Humans became indistinguishable when they were just a pile of bones. Only a honed eye could even know their gender. Did trees have genders? He wondered if they felt him dig around them. He wondered if he cut across any threads of their roots. He hoped not. They didn’t deserve to be cut down, or to suffer in any way. They gave so much to humans: food, shelter, even the air they breathed. It was scandalous how easily dismissed they were; how easily cut down and replaced. But it was the human way with every living thing on this planet. Anything that had a life force had to be controlled, and managed, and bred to suit a purpose. It made Dan sick.
Rage fuelled his return to digging. He wanted to make sure he buried them deep. Loads of people walked their dogs over the heath. They were only bones, but they were bones that could be ID’d. They were clean though; he’d stripped and boiled them.
People didn’t understand how difficult it was living how he did, seeing things the way he did. He’d learnt to keep his mouth shut and his head down. And more recently he’d found an outlet for his frustration as well as the answer to a food problem.
For years now he’d only been able to eat raw meat. His body had rejected all other food – especially when he’d tried going vegan. He hated slaughtering innocent animals. It went against everything he believed. He didn’t have the same compassion for humans though. Not on the whole. There were good people, but there were also not so good people; people that would take every last piece of you without feeling a second of guilt. He had too many of those people in his life, so it made it easier.
The first time he’d done it, he’d been wracked with guilt and paranoia. He’d cut up the meat into small pieces and stored it in the freezer as quickly as possible. He’d trained as a butcher since his raw meat diet and that served him well. He wanted to leave as little trace as possible.
The bones had been large and difficult to handle, unlike animal bones. He’d sawn and broken then down, but it was hard to find a container large enough to boil them in altogether. He’d had to do several pot loads. It had made him twitchy, worried that someone would come round and find him in the middle of it.
But by the third time it had become automatic. He’d also made sure it was always late night; less chance of interruption. Plus he realised that most of his friends and neighbours knew that he slaughtered and prepared his own animals, so blood, bones and pieces of meat in his apartment was no big deal. He relaxed. He still had to think about alibis, who he’d pick and plan it, but generally it became easier and he felt he was servicing others too by getting rid of these people.
He sometimes wished he could get access to an incinerator to burn the bones, but knew that was too risky. It wasn’t that simple either, he knew they’d need to be crushed after being burnt. The entire process took too long and was too suspicious on a regular basis, so burying was the only option. He’d grown creative with his locations. He tended to save up the bones and then drive to somewhere new. It made the chance of discovery and association to him less likely.
Dan enjoyed travelling to new areas of the country and exploring the countryside. There were some stunning places, and stunning views, like tonight, with the land soaked in moonlight and the silhouetted tree. On nights like this he wished he could bottle it and sell it.
