Happy Publication Day to Blood River! 🥳

It's finally out into the world, Blood River, the third book in Tricky's Tales, and the finale to this little three book triology and storyline. 

Tricky is such an easy character to write. Her words flow out easily as I hear her voice in my head, and I love everything about her and her world. And there is still plenty to discover. I'm confident there's more from Tricky - besides the two short tales I have planned, but for now I am working on a few non-fiction related projects, while I gestate on a couple of darker novels. 

This book is my tenth fiction book (and my fifth novel), and I don't tire of writing fiction, if anything more and more ideas are filling my head. I wish for many things, including a massive Tricky fan base, which maybe one day would lead to a film or series in her world, which I might hopefully be involved in creating. But I also am busy with my non-fiction writing as I have two books and a short exclusive in the works, along with a course. I also have a couple of writing-related books to produce for self-published authors, but there just seems to be less and less time in the day. 

And all the while I am studying and reading. I am enjoying the proofreading course I am doing, as it is already impacting my own writing as I start using some of the methods I am learning and noting things in my writing. It will bring an accreditation recognised by publishing houses in the UK, but I don't see my career going that way. I just wanted to prove to myself I can be an expert in something. 

When I started out as a self-published author, I was unsure about my decision, though I didn't want to jump the many hoops that publishing houses or agents set, or be told to change my ideas and rewrite my books to satisify some niche they have decided it needs to fit into. I write across genres because that's what I write and I don't want to be boxed in by a market, one that is unlikely to pay me much. Or my book judged by one person to be deemed worthy, which really just means sellable.

I have also watched others get deals and either end up disappointed or see their writing become more and more vacuous as they struggle to deliver a 'marketable' book. In fact being part of a local bookclub and seeing them pick the 'bestseller-listed', 'latest literary sensation' has made me definitely turn away from traditional publishing. As I read these books, I wonder how they were picked up in the first place, because I can name at least ten books by my self-published friends that are ten times better. 

But the problem is that they're 'self-published', and that is a no-no to most readers because that's what they have been told by the press and the publishing houses. The biggest lie is that there is no rift between the two: self-published and traditionally published, but there is. For me it has been seeing friends get deals with big publishers, friends that used to be supportive and interested in my books and writing, but then suddenly stop. And even though you still share and promote their books, they never return the favour, because they don't dain to be seen to promote or help a self-published author, especially if they don't write in the same genre - that'll look bad on their social media feeds. It can be quite heart-breaking. 

So for all those reasons, and the lack of transparency in the publishing industry and their authors who daren't be honest about anything they experience, pretending it's a bed of roses, for fear of losing their deal, I have really settled into being a self-published author. I don't expect much money from it - if any - but I live in hope of someone with a large following raving about one of my books and making some sales. And really I just want people to enjoy the books I write, I don't need them to win awards, or spend my life touring places to try to get them visible - the best way to have your book marketed is by word of mouth. (I say this, but I spend a small fortune on marketing. It costs an arm and a leg to give your book away for free - I kid you not).

So that's my current view on being a self-published author. I say current because you never know what might change. And that's the fun about being self-published - you have unlimited opportunities.

And if you are still reading, thanks for taking the time. And if you are a reader of my books, and/or a lover of Tricky, please do leave a review. The more people that do, the more likely more readers will pick up one of my books! 

The Landmass - Tricky's World

Review: Quest for Love: Memoir of a Child Sex Slave by Anneke Lucas

Quest for Love: Memoir of a Child Sex Slave by Anneke Lucas
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I finished this book in a week, which is super fast for me. It was as compelling as it was disturbing and I'm still struggling to put into words my thoughts about it.

Reading through reviews I see people victim blaming and just disbelieving this account, and I can understand why they might, because it is a lot to take on, and in such great detail. But as someone from a traumatic childhood - though nothing on this scale - your ability to recall the very visceral details of a moment of abuse stays with you a lifetime. Although Anneke had help and support to accomplish this complete recall and her feelings about it.

I live in the Netherlands and to think much of this was perpetrated by a Prime Minister just over the border in Belgium, and that a case (Dutroux) was covered up by an investigation team to placate a network that undertakes pedophilia, torture and murder on this scale, is sickening. Since the Jeffrey Epstein case, and people like Prince Andrew being involved, this book allows you to see how it is possible. It seems that money and power really can allow you to do anything.

Anneke Lucas recounts a certain time period of the abuse, and alludes to 'training' she had. I would have been interested to know more about that and who was involved, but I also appreciate that there comes a point where you can't keep going over such horrific events. Plus it makes me wonder if it will make her a target again.

This book is not for the faint-hearted and would trigger anyone with sexual abuse in their history. It is not an easy read, especially with some of the detail, and I felt devastated, frustrated, angry and disgusted throughout the entire reading. But the one who I reserve the majority of my anger for was her narcissistic mother. She was utterly disgusting and without any remorse for her treatment of her daughter. I really would have liked to have seen justice done there. I myself had a narcissistic mother and it made me wonder if had she had access to such a place would she have taken us there, but no matter how difficult and jealous she would get, I do believe that morally she was not that corrupt.

I'm so grateful Anneke was able to get out of it alive, and I felt a strange sense of serendipity when she mentioned during her near-death experience having visions of Paramahansa Yogananda, because I bought his book, Autobiography of a Yogi, just last year, and it's currently on my tbr pile.

I also loved her words about healing:

"Healing breaks our heart so that love can enter. Healing from trauma is to feel suppressed feelings so that we can expand and feel everything. It means to go inward, to connect with our own truth and so connect with greater truth, so that we can know what we know with certainty, because we can feel it, because we are in touch with our true selves."

And her words about our current corrupt power systems, couldn't be truer:

"The psychopaths who attempt to rule the world have no access to their inner selves, and are trying to know themselves only through outward means, through status and control, needing to feel superior in order to feel worthy."

"Even as we steadily move into a more enlightened era, the slaves to power, bound to earth and its riches, are fighting tooth and nail to protect their lies and way of life, which is creating the turbulence we are experiencing today."

This is not my first reading on such a topic, so I had an idea of what I was going into before reading. Just as Anneke is not the only person trying to shed light on these horrific goings-on. You need to be mentally prepared, because they will give you a mental hangover which is hard to shake, and may never leave you - unless, like some of the other reviewers, you just choose to disbelieve it all.

Thank you Anneke for sharing this with us. I admire you strength and your courage.


View all my reviews

Happy one year anniversary to Kill The Goblins! 🥳

It's already been a year since the release of  my first non-fiction book: Kill The Goblins! Time just flies. And to celebrate, I have put the ebook on sale for $0.99/£0.99!

I've received some wonderful reviews for this book, and I hope to get it into more hands and help a lot more people with it. It's not for everyone, but it doesn't contain any spiritual woo or self-help jargon - in fact I wrote it for people that shun self-help! So if you think you might find it helpful pick up a copy. 

Miranda K, a veteran of trauma recovery, provides in-the-moment practical strategies to combat unwanted, destructive thoughts.

Are you aware of the things you say to yourself? Are they friendly or mean? Do you have a busy head, full of lots of thoughts that leave you confused or overwhelmed? Do you find yourself arguing with the thoughts in your head, trying to get them to stop?

Kill The Goblins provides more than 15 ways to deal with those thoughts. Each one provides a simple action you can take as soon as you’ve finished reading. You can also take an in-depth look at potential root causes, and learn how to change the way you think and feel to gain inner balance and security on a daily basis.

Designed to either be read in from cover to cover, or dipped into for quite easy in-the-moment solutions, Kill The Goblins is for everyone. No spiritual woo, no self help jargon, just practical strategies for every-day use. Equip yourself with the tools to kill the stream of negative thoughts in your head that stop you from pursuing your dreams, and distract you from living the life you want.

“I found this book easy to read and informative. Miranda’s sharing of personal life and mental health experiences and revelations make it feel as if you are having coffee and chatting with a wise friend who learned her lessons in the trenches. This book is packed with practical, concrete methods to help you change your thinking, master your mind, and get to the root causes.” - Debbie Hampton, The Best Brain Possible