Thursday, 22 January 2015

Five Sentence Fiction - Abandoned

The new Five Sentence Fiction is up and again a brilliant photo and prompt work that couldn't be resisted. I really wanted to add a sixth sentence, but I found a way of linking it up! *pulls face* Yes, it might be pushing the limits of acceptable sentence structure, but it works! (I hope). Enjoy.

SOURCE



Lucy tucked her feet up under her as she perched on the windowsill, and pressed her face up against the stained, leaded window panes to look out into the garden and see what wildlife was about today.

The bushes had grown right up to the windows, which was a blessing really as now she had more of a chance to what rustled out there, and made the house such a daunting prospect to any buyers.

She would love someone to move in and return some light to the place, rejuvenate its paintwork, its broken floorboards, and fill the rooms with furniture and trinkets that had a history and meant something to someone. 

Lucy dreamed of a family coming to live here, maybe with girls who wanted to play dress up and pretend they were princesses in a castle like she had done, before that nasty fall down the main staircase. 

She hadn’t understood at the time why it meant everyone had to leave; she was still here, although they couldn’t see or hear her, and she missed them so very much. 



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14 comments :

  1. Anonymous23 January 2015 at 13:04

    Great story, Miranda! I really like that your ghost is benign, and not bent on revenge or up to any tricks. Very sweet and sad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa Shambrook23 January 2015 at 18:16

    Loved this Miranda, a real sense of loss and abandonment, and no malice whatsoever!

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    Replies
    1. Miranda Kate23 January 2015 at 20:03

      She was abandoned along with the house. Both just sad.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous23 January 2015 at 19:54

    Mind blowing story, the soul craving for the loved ones and a real sense of anguish.
    https://vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com/2015/01/23/five-sentence-fiction-a-perfect-strategy/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown25 January 2015 at 17:01

    Wonderful! Such a spot on story for the word and picture. I love the touch of whimsy in the words, perfectly portraying a child's voice.

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  5. K R Smith26 January 2015 at 05:14

    A perfect way to portray a child's innocence - even if she is a ghost!

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  6. Mary T Bradford27 January 2015 at 11:51

    I loved this Miranda, a really good story. I would like to read on more of this.

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    Replies
    1. Miranda Kate28 January 2015 at 10:26

      Unfortunately it's just a snippet. Glad you liked it.

      Delete
  7. Anonymous28 January 2015 at 09:54

    wow..loved it..couldn't grasp till the end that she is a ghost..

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  8. Shail28 January 2015 at 13:03

    Loved it. The last line came as a surprise to reveal the truth of the situation. Well crafted.

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  9. Anonymous29 January 2015 at 13:06

    I like it. :)

    ReplyDelete

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