She hoped it would make a difference, that being his wife
would somehow make her valuable, if not in his eyes, then at least in the eyes
of his friends; maybe then they would take her seriously, and know she wasn’t
just messing about or some kind of short-term girlfriend, that she was someone
worth giving their time and friendship to.
She also knew that any children they had would be put at the top of his list, and be something he would move heaven and earth for, and thus as their mother she hoped that meant that she would warrant such a high standing too.
But as she stood doing the washing up, alone in the house again, while he was off out with their sons, doing their boy thing, she realised she had been mistaken; despite all she did for him, all she gave, she was invisible, and only really there as the housekeeper and child minder.
She wasn’t his friend - now they had moved back to his home town, he’d returned to the fold and she was surplus to requirements; and she wasn’t his lover - interest had faded once the children had arrived, both busy with others things and he was always too tired; and thanks to no one around her being interested in getting to know her – the foreigner in their midst – she realised she had no support base here either.
She dried her hands on a tea towel and wondered what she had done, how she had gotten herself into this in the first place; it was going to take more than hopes and dreams to get her out.
She also knew that any children they had would be put at the top of his list, and be something he would move heaven and earth for, and thus as their mother she hoped that meant that she would warrant such a high standing too.
But as she stood doing the washing up, alone in the house again, while he was off out with their sons, doing their boy thing, she realised she had been mistaken; despite all she did for him, all she gave, she was invisible, and only really there as the housekeeper and child minder.
She wasn’t his friend - now they had moved back to his home town, he’d returned to the fold and she was surplus to requirements; and she wasn’t his lover - interest had faded once the children had arrived, both busy with others things and he was always too tired; and thanks to no one around her being interested in getting to know her – the foreigner in their midst – she realised she had no support base here either.
She dried her hands on a tea towel and wondered what she had done, how she had gotten herself into this in the first place; it was going to take more than hopes and dreams to get her out.
A hard place to be, but a reality all the same...
ReplyDeleteThe more she relies on someone else for her happiness, the lonelier she will be. Interesting portrayal.
ReplyDeleteRelying on someone else for happiness? no, Hoping to be a part of her husband's life and matter to him and not be ignored? yes.
DeleteThis is so sad to lose your identity, losing yourself. Having a family shouldn't mean this but it rings so true with people I know. I hope she manages to find herself and her husband realises she's the same person he fell in love with. xxx
ReplyDeleteThis rings so true irrespective of the part of the world we belong.. 'Woes' afllicting women...
ReplyDeleteBeautifully expressed, Miranda.
You are such a word wrangler...I felt her pain clearly. Very well done!!
ReplyDeleteD.B. McNicol
Romance & Mystery...writing my life