She didn’t want to go there again, but they’d insisted, her
hands shaking by the time they pulled up at the bottom of the embankment. When
she looked up at the white weather-board house it seemed to plead its
innocence, but she knew better.
Two cars pulled up behind and then someone opened her door.
She spun round, eyes wide with terror at the prospect of getting out and going
in there again, but a hand took her arm and she knew she had to comply.
She climbed the embankment with them surrounding her. There
was no escape, not even inside her head, where the sounds she’d endured were
replayed, even those made by her own body. She stumbled at the prospect of
facing it again.
As they approached the front door she pulled at the man
leading her, until they were standing over the coal shoot she’d been shoved
down a few terrifying days earlier. The men opened it, taking their time, ready
to reveal its horrors.
The smell hit her, metallic and salty; the purist form of distilled
fear. And then the sounds reached her and she pulled back, pushing against the
men that held her, clawing at their hands to release her and allow her to run
free from the torture chamber below, where the few that were still alive wailed
their agony.
And they did, they let her go as they braced themselves for
what was ahead; letting her run back to the police van. She pushed through the
underbrush, oblivious to the damage it inflicted, knowing it could never cut as
deep as the tools used in that cellar, and flew into the arms of a waiting
social worker, where she allowed herself to be held and comforted, and reminded
that her ordeal was over.
300 words
A an edgy tale, Miranda! It brings to mind films like Hostel. I love the writing style, you convey a great sense of dread!
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it. I haven't actually seen Hostel - never had the nerve, I prefer to read than watch - can block out more...although I do own the first 3 Saw movies! ;)
DeleteI agree, felt very real. Great tale.
ReplyDeleteGood, wanted to capture all the feels - the horrifying ones!
DeleteIn today's world, this could be very real. The psychological horror aspect is much better than just describing some gory scene. I have to remember to use the sense of smell more often; it really does invoke strong feelings and memories, often of things you've forgotten.
ReplyDeleteIndeed K R, senses really bring writing closer to the reader. I did a correspondence writing course - some 12 years ago now - and did a nightclub scene without mentioning the sound. My tutor then told me that you need to use ALL the senses, and since then that is what I engage the most. Feelings are what life is all about, and that is what my writing reflects - horrifying ones mostly though! ;) Thanks for reading.
DeleteA very powerful tale of fear and dread. Relieved by the ending that she survived rather than being thrown down the coal shoot which I thought and dreaded! Fab use of senses too. x
ReplyDeleteI deliberate did that to draw the reader in and keep them on edge. ;) Glad it worked.
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